Why I Don’t High-Five My Kids for Scribbles

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In a world filled with competition, I have to ask – Why the heck do we give out medals for every modicum of minuscule success? Last place is just that, last place. There is only one first place, it wasn’t you. That picture my eleven-year-old drew in five minutes is not making it to my fridge. Her heart wasn’t in it, and it shows.

Let me start by saying, I’m a firm believer in creating strong feelings of self-worth in my children. In fact, I’ve written a children’s book about self-love and have a few more in the works.  Check it out, HERE. That being said, part of truly appreciating who we are as people is accepting that we’re not the best at everything, and that’s okay.

childplay.jpgInstead of affirming them for minimal effort, we should be lifting them up and encouraging them to do their very best in every aspect of their lives. Sometimes their very best won’t be good enough. That isn’t a reason to give up, it’s a reason to try harder. HERE are some great ways to foster healthy confidence.

Maybe he doesn’t have an aptitude for football. Maybe math isn’t her strongest subject.

Why are we promoting the belief that they’re great at everything?

As children grow up life will only get harder. The stakes rise up and children not taught to reach for the stars may find themselves firmly planted on the ground, unable to move forward in life. They may develop an attitude of entitlement after being taught that everything they do is the very best. Employment, relationships, friendships… these are not easy feats in any regard.

So what do I propose we do differently in this society filled with focus on making our children “feel good?” Teach them to love and appreciate themselves. Teach them to work harder, be stronger, and handle disappointment in a healthy and productive way.

team.jpgNo, you won’t always be the best. Yes, you’re going to fail. Yes, I expect you to pick yourself back up and work harder. In the end you’ll be resilient, motivated, and strong.

In my opinion, that’s the best way to show love to our children. Teach them to embrace who they are, love themselves, and keep moving forward.

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